#raylen didn’t steal shit

[youraveragemagicalthief]

^÷ ,÷÷#@ _[<=÷ ^÷)]

^÷)] ^>?

^÷)] "!@@>÷)

- @the-archangels7

What?! [she squints] is this from Rafe??

I can’t read this…

[youraveragemagicalthief]

(@the-official-goose-god ftr, my url is @youraveragemagicthief)

I SWEAR MY ALLEGIANCE TO THE BEAN I WILL PROTECT THE BEAN AT ALL COSTS

GOOSE GOD ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

GOOSE GOD ABD WASTE MANAGEMENT ARE ALLIED UNTIL @i-say-bean IS SAFE!!!

@france-unofficial IS TRYING TO ATTACK BEAN AND IS MAKING BEAN SAD!!!!!

GO SUPPORT BEAN AND GET FRANCE TO LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!

(this is happening on goose god's original start of war post)

@walmart-the-official

@youraveragemagictheif

@local-pickpocket

@lucifer-morningstar-the-hellster

@god-of-death-official

@official-fedex

@canadian-hellbird

@the-official-god-of-chaos

@the-gimmick-authority

@sony-official

@totally-bing

@bisexual-navy

@big-fucking-sagittarius-astar

@soup--man

@bi-poly-space-station

@the-god-of-bread

@silly-little-words-on-the-screen

@denmark-official

@the-real-gmail

@truly-the-sun

@aro-sp-ace-force

@the-aplatonic-cavalry

@kaythekatt

@genderfluid-marine-corp

@might-be-capricorn

@ursa-major-actually

@the-missiles-guy

@the-chance-wizard

@gimmick-swag

@unofficalgojosatoru

[youraveragemagicalthief]

[Raylen and a vaguely familiar figure are facing each other, pacing in a loose circle in some sort of arena. Both of them have determination burning in their eyes and long, elegant swords drawn. As you watch, they charge at each other, clangs echoing around the area as they spar. Their fighting styles are somehow similar, and their movements mirror each other’s as you notice that their flashing blades are actually quite similar]

[The other person is dressed in black, with various weapons barely concealed in his clothes. The most you can make out from watching his blurred movements is that his hair’s a bright shock of green, and he seems to have…horns? He lunges at Ray, bringing down a smaller dagger at her, and she barely dodges.]

( @the-archangels7 )

[pettyelves]

Seeking a King

Adrift in the Great Sea that hugged the Kul’Tiran border, The Shrieking Harpy made for Drustvar- specifically for some accursed fog which, by the accounts of the journal Eilithe had, was responsible for spiriting away The Blind King and her crew. 

Eilithe sat below deck with her head hanging out of a port-window. Since she had returned from, what could falsely be called a vacation she’d at least been able to stomach being on the water. 

Queasy with the hard sloshing of the sea against The Shrieking Harpy’s side left Eilithe in a constant state of feeling green. Which made No’Vindere’s sandpaper voice all the less tolerable. 

“Arbiter,” she cooed, “A Sin’Dorei ship is approaching flying white. Naturally, the Fleet Captain thinks it is a trap.” 

Eilithe squinted, “Great. Wonderful.” 

Topside, Raylen had every gun they had aimed square at a good sized brigantine whose Sin’Dorei captain waved a white flag back and forth. Spiders, or at least the feeling of such crawled up Eilithe’s neck as she eyed the water around them. “Something is,,very wrong.” 

A wipe of magic released as the Sin’Dorei boasted, “We have you surrounded, so if you please- let’s not make this difficult.” And they did- at every side, in a semi-circle Windjammers with loads of deck cannons  all aimed at the hull of the Dead Sun ship.

“OH please, I’ve enough guns aboard to--” Raylen had begun.

“FIRE ALL, Don’t sink our new ship!” 

Eilithe lurched forward and caught herself of the railings as the cannons flanked their ship. “Fucking.. pirates,” she spat out before looking to Raylen. 

“Hit ‘em back boys!” Raylen shouted, before the ship shook with all thirty-six guns firing half at a time. “Hard to starboard, we’re going to give these little ships something to chew on.” 

“FIRE HARPOONS!” came back the enemy Captain. 

Through the side of the deck they busted one after the other, Eilithe turned to No’Vindere and Raylen. “Let us deal with the boarding part- you do what you do best Raylen. Get us another ship. No’Vindere can mitigate some of the damage.” 

No’Vi dipped her head, “Yup- just give the word. It’s all on you, Fleet Captain.”

It was a vault and a short sprint to the first harpoon, deck hands already beating on the thing with mops and brooms. “Hammers. Sledge hammers. GO!” she barked, before she clapped her hands together sending a sonic blast at the spiked barb. Below she felt the ship shifting in the direction of the enemy and just as she powered a second blast the magic seeped from the area. 

Glancing up to the helm, Raylen shouted orders and at his side No’Vindere glowed in silvery light a nullification seal opened in front of her. “Shit,” Eilithe said, though the deckhands returned just in time. 

With four swings from each of them, the harpoon shot out and sank into the water. Immediately a fire from all directions rattled the Harpy and as cannons flew overhead Eilithe, among the others, dropped to the deck. They had started to spin at the ass-end away from the enemy, which would have set them up for a nice ram- if it were not for the eight remaining harpoons that leashed the Harpy to her enemy. The Harpy fired all- sending one windjammer down to the water in pieces, while the others struggled to remain afloat. But now. Now they were moving fast in enemy direction. 

“RAYLEN!” she bellowed, “What do you say we show them why this was a bad idea. Counter board and we take that ship for ourselves?” 

She could see his shit-eating grin from there. “Rifleman! Blast them full of led when they come over, Hastings- get on the helm once we’ve taken that ship.” 

[TW Mild Gore]

Perhaps it was that they expected less people to be crammed aboard the Harpy-- or maybe it was that they were confident that they would outnumber Dead Sun’s ship. The miscalculation was grave. 

Aboard the enemy ship, Eilithe fought the old-fashioned way. Hard and with two swords. Each man or woman she collided with was meet without mercy, her blades crashing in a hail of sparks with a particularly brutish man. Overhead the elf swung down with an ax at Eilithe- which she caught in the wedge of crossed swords. His weight pressed into her, she felt it in her knees as he pushed down the bladed edge closer and closer to her face. 

She was strong. But she had limitations to fighting head-on like that. Still No’Vindere dampened the area and Eilithe could seem to muster a connection with her Lady. 

The brute reared back and kicked Eilithe square in the stomach, sending her in a roll onto her back. A massive boot came down on her then- crushing into face to smash it into the deck. She squirmed and kicked up the butt of the ax impacted into her pelvis. The wind cut then as he drew the ax above his head- intending to severe Eilithe’s head. It was then that Eilithe felt the nullification wither from the air, the sounds of Raylen and No’Vindere boarding the ship on the offensive. 

From the corner of her eye she saw a stray bullet rip through the brute’s bicep, sending a spray in almost slow motion. He roared and let up just enough that Eilithe felt the opportunity. Clutching the dagger at her side she twist it up into the artery that ran from his groin down through the leg. Stab, twist, rip- that was a practiced and effective technique. But oh was it mess. 

An eruption of blood soaked out of the wound and the man stumbled back from Eilithe screaming and swinging. Sitting up, Eilithe’s jaw creaked and cracked- widening and splitting skin. For a breath, it was as though silence spread over the deck. 1...2.. release. Her howl echoed over the deck- stealing the freed souls and deafening those lucky enough to still be alive in the carnage. 

It was almost timed perfectly- for it seemed that Raylen and No’Vi had freed the enemy Captain’s soul from it’s fleshy host. 

Back aboard the Harpy, more than a few were injured. “Looks like we’ll be stopping in Boralus on our way to Drustvar,” Eilithe muttered, wiping her blades down. Her eyes drifted to the brigantine which would be added now to those that sailed under the Dead Sun Fleet. “Now we just need a name for her.” 

Raylen didn’t answer though- preoccupied with looking over the deck of his baby. “I just waxed this deck..” 

@raylendaerthe @novinderethehierophant @deadsunharbor 

[employees of dead sun that signed up for the Into the Fog arc are welcome to use this as a prompt to write a little blurb about what their people were doing during this attack. Dead Sun is currently docked in Boralus pending ship repairs.]

[youraveragemagicalthief]

*As the thief stirs awake, their vision is immediately met by the visage of an old friend. In a sense. The look in the Half-Elf's eyes is different. Something behind them has shifted.*

*The wings are new, too.*

( @king-in-crimson )

[she blinks, confused and disoriented] Who are you?!

Wait a second.

Pick?!

[youraveragemagicalthief]

God powers, nose powers, whatever. Hi. Please tell the nose thief to be nice, and tell ‘em I requested a partnership since we’re already co-parenting.

Yes, I take care of noses

No I'm not happy bout it,

But at least I still have the powers of a god

@walmart-the-official @youraveragemagicalthief @local-pickpocket @lucifer-morningstar-the-hellster @france-unofficial @god-of-death-official @i-say-bean @official-fedex @canadian-hellbird @the-official-god-of-chaos @the-gimmick-authority @sony-official @totally-bing @bisexual-navy @big-fucking-sagittarius-astar @soup--man @bi-poly-space-station @the-god-of-bread @silly-little-words-on-the-screen @denmark-official @the-real-gmail @truly-the-sun @aro-sp-ace-force @the-aplatonic-cavalry @kaythekatt @genderfluid-marine-corp @might-be-capricorn @ursa-major-actually @the-missiles-guy @the-chance-wizard @gimmick-swag @the-official-goose-god @gimmick-nose-thief

(yes I stole this from a different blog)

Also sorry if I double summoned you *cough cough the gimmick authority*

[youraveragemagicalthief]

hey, have you seen raphael anywhere today?

- @the-archangels7

[she looks sad] Yeah, I went to meet him. He says he’s fine, but…i don’t think he is.

[youraveragemagicalthief]

*you feel more than sense a woman ghosting you through the streets*

@by-the-welder-light

[she looks around uneasily]

[youraveragemagicalthief]

Hello other envy sin.

@official-7-deadly-sins

Who, may I ask, are you?

[youraveragemagicalthief]

yeah they know i stole their loot

So you steal from thieves? Interesting. I do, too. Thanks for the gimmicks!

~ @youraveragethief

Hey @gimmick-thief there’s another one

[youraveragemagicalthief]

h-hi, ray!

*raphael, as usual, is happy to see you. but hes fiddling with something inside his pocket, and seems nervous*

- @the-archangels7

[he opens the door] Hello, angel boy. What do you want.

[he’s lounging on a couch, with his arm being bandaged by Ray, who has a similar one on her leg]

Hi, Rafe!!

[he waves, not looking particularly unhappy to see them]

[youraveragemagicalthief]

[a letter has arrived, it reading “L.O.A.I.D. Investigation branch head here, we’ve found something more threatening then the people we’re investigating and thought to at least warn you, something called the “meat”, fire seems good but not effective agaisnt it, do not get near it.”]

Whew, thank you. I've done some digging, and @the-m-e-a-t's host has been killed by @the-gimmick-authority, once.

@local-pickpocket @your-local-evil-villain y'all seeing this?

Interesting. Perhaps an ally?

[youraveragemagicalthief]

*Something collapses. Breaks under weight. Going to investigate, a tree is found dismantled by collision. Above it, a glimmering… tear. A tear in reality. And below, the Half-elf. Of course, Burrnadot was expected, and even assumed at first glance, but that voice, groaning as the body slowly awakens, is undeniably the Bearer, not the Ring.*

( @local-pickpocket )

Pick! What the everloving fuck just happened, are you okay??

[youraveragemagicalthief]

SAY HI EVERYONE!!

@local-pickpocket can they join us? :3

Meow, Hello! I'm Your local black cat, who steals things from you, Mew :3

Basic stuff! /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

• My name is Atticus!

• I go by any pronouns that isn't she/her!

• I'm a transboy!

• I'm autistic!

Tags!!! /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

• Atticus isn't stealing (For when I'm not stealing)

• Atticus is stealing (For when I'm stealing)

• Local thief feline (Any Post)

• Hii @youraveragemagicalthief! (For interactions with Raylen)

• Meow...? (For- OH GOD THE AUTHORITIES!!!)

[youraveragemagicalthief]

[a knock has come at your door]

[she places a hand on her knife and opens the door]

[youraveragemagicalthief]

punchhhh leee gimmickkk detectiveeeeee innnn leee faceeee

it beeee funnehhhhh

-pikapikaaa

@the-gimmick-detective whaddya think